I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
