I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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