Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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