How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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