My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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