If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
