i was born a porn star she said
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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