so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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