do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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