u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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