Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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