Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
