Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
