so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
