I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
