The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
There are leaves in my underwear?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I think I just sharted jello shots
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