R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
