Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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