I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
This is my gift to your gina
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
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