Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
