Rock
Scissors
Fuck
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
