Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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