you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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