I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
he was CRYING into my vagina
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
