i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
