If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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