why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
