so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
