I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
