$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
