i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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