Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
