Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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