we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
