No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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