that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
