the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
