so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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