Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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