Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Randomize