im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
