"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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