i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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