I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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