Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
