Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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