Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
