so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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