About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize