yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
