his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize