pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
