I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize