# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
that's an acceptable place to lick
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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