So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
