If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
