I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
