He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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