Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
