It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
