Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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