everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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