Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
