Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Let's paint friendship bongs
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
