i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
