I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
