you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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