By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
