Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
