it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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