i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
