Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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