i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
