If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
