What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
