She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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