if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Who wears a wallet chain?!
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
