if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
