I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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